Easy does not preclude truth.
I was conversing with a friend recently who had also experienced a protracted trauma. While our tragedies were starkly different, our pursuit towards healing is very much the same: a perpetual desire to be better, become better, have better. I don't know if this friend has realized this, but I hope it is realized. There must always be a commitment to not stop moving forward. If there is one thing I learned in physics, it's that an object in motion stays in motion tends to stay in motion. Movement towards betterment must never cease.
In this discussion, like many times before, I wondered how can there be joy when a person has so much right to never feel it again. It dawned on me then, joy is a muscle.
Some people are born with joy like some people are born with muscle. They don’t have to work very hard to obtain much. Others have to practice hard in order to obtain any at all. Both, in order to maintain new muscle, have to remain disciplined and put into practice the muscle they do have to build new muscle.
If the builder were to stumble or become sick, where s/he could not practice, s/he would begin to loose mass and muscle. However, it is not lost. There may be a setback, but it is not gone forever. A return back to training will return the person back to where they once were. (Or maybe it is better they not return to where they were before the sickness/injury/setback. Maybe they are at someplace better so they don't return to the sickness/injury/setback).
If the weight trainer were to look at his or her loss of muscle definition and say all is lost and cannot regain what I had lost, who of us would say to that person, how foolish you are. Return back to training and you can and will regain what you lost, or something new.
I have failed to view joy in the same light.
I will forever be jealous of the natural ability of those who can find joy and spread joy, have joy and be joy. However, that does not diminish the joy I have and can have and will have. Just because one muscle builder has more muscle than I do, does not mean I have no muscle.
Anyone who has experienced deep loss and deep betrayal have every right to the sorrow and disappointment they feel. I have felt many times there can never be joy after this. However, I believe if we chose to pursue joy, we will have it.
After learning how to bench for the first time - I noticed something. Fatigue happens when we use muscles. Sometimes in my pursuit of a joy, I feel fatigued. But I need to remember that it is a daily discipline. And each day I apply myself, the stronger I become.
How do we pursue joy? By recognizing it where it exists. Small victories, focusing on the good things in our life daily. Perhaps it's as small as one person saying hello to you with a smile. It is good. Pursue it, and be that which you are pursuing.
Not very deep today, but simple is good is sometimes.
~Henry Van Dyke