“Might your tendencies have something to do with an unhealed hurt in your heart?” I write today’s post in preparation for this week's holiday of love, and in response to a daily devotional email subscription I read. It was an excerpt from Max Lucado’s “God Will Carry You Through”. As I consider that question, my fears, my insecurities, and my worries flood my mind. I am challenged to ask myself, how am I responding to each of these? I have to remind myself that while I cannot control what has happened, I can control me. |
I recall a sermon by Steven Furtick that I listened to a few years ago now, and turn to my notes… I will share what I wrote down, “When you look beneath the insult and see the insecurity, you can overlook the offense.” What we do relates directly to how we feel.
Before I continue with my point, I want to share that I love when I can connect 2 authors or speakers, with different messages that span over different periods of time, into 1 truth. I also love that God sends us messages long before we need it. The reason I thought I needed this sermon, was not the reason I would come to need this message.
Dealing with others
At the time, I applied Furtick’s message to difficult people in my life that I worked with or had to deal with in my any day interactions. It’s easy to vent about difficult people, it’s hard to respond with grace. The goal in my own life, and the inspiration to this blog’s name, is to live a life called to grace. And I ask myself, just as you are probably asking, what does this mean?
I believe the truth is wrapped up in the words spoken by Steven Furtick . We can each overlook offenses when we look at what lies deep behind the insult and see the hurt and the insecurity of the person creating the offense. Hurting people hurt people – and when I realized this about other people, it became much easier to get through each day. As we put this into practice, it becomes easier to deal with difficult people. When we can put ourselves in their life, and recognize behaviors are the result of themselves not us, it’s much easier to interact with them. We realize the grumpy people in our lives are grumpy because of their own lives, not because of us.
Dealing with insults is easy when they involve the mundane details of our lives. Perhaps, like me, you are dealing with something bigger. Darker. More tragic. Can we respond to these harder circumstances with the same grace? Yes it can because the same truth still applies. Truth doesn’t change even when the circumstances do.
Likewise, as we examine the insults directed from others towards us, we must also examine our own life and see if there are any insults that we inflict. There comes a point when we realize that if we do not respond in grace, we become the person who causes hurt in the lives of others. We become the inflictor of insults.
When we examine the life of Joseph, we see how he was deeply hurt by those closest to him. Joseph –the one with the coat of many colors, not the husband of Mary, mother of Jesus. He was insulted by those closest to him. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He spent years trying to overcome his circumstances. He continued to do the right thing, even when it was not to his benefit.
Like Joseph, I was deeply insulted by someone close to me. I tried to remember the message of Steven Furtick.
Dealing with self
Before responding with grace to others, we have to first respond with grace in our own life, in our own heart. In Max Lucado’s book, he says that restoration matters to God.
With the story of Joseph, it eventually appeared that he had finally overcome his lot in life. He rose above the problems into a position of power. He put the past in the past. But a past that has been undealt with only brings out problems later.
Joseph never had a Steven Furtick or Max Lucado preach messages to his soul. Perhaps if he had, he would have responded much differently when confronted by his brothers, years after their insult.
He did not respond with the love and compassion he once had for his brothers, years before being sold into slavery. Instead, he remembered the insult, he remembered his hurts, he remembered how they treated him and he responded in kind. He had them bound and imprisoned.
Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there. God continued to work on Joseph – and Joseph was a willing student, able to receive instruction. While this was painful, God used this time to bring up the impurities of the past. God allowed this time to heal the past. In Joseph’s case, the impurities of the past weren’t sins he committed, but sins committed against him. When Joseph allowed God to work on his heart, and because of his willingness to endure the pain, he was able to come out on the other side. In his case, God restored his heart, and his relationships with his family.
Sometimes restoration cannot always happen between people, but that doesn’t mean that He cannot restore the heart of individuals.
I never applied Furtick’s message to my own heart and hurts. I was sold out by someone I loved deeply. As a result, I have to ask myself the hard question: As a result of my hurts, what insults have I knowingly or unknowingly committed?
Max Lucado has long been one of my favorite authors. He penned, “The healing of the heart deals with the healing of the past.” If we do not want our hurts to control our actions, then we must be willing to allow God to work through the pain and heal our past.
We must all confront our past boldly and ask how our hurts influencing current choices.
Since it is almost Valentine's Day, I ask, are you willing to trust God with your heart? Are you willing to let go control and allow him to work on the hearts of others? Can you respond to others with the same love that God responds to you.
Before I continue with my point, I want to share that I love when I can connect 2 authors or speakers, with different messages that span over different periods of time, into 1 truth. I also love that God sends us messages long before we need it. The reason I thought I needed this sermon, was not the reason I would come to need this message.
Dealing with others
At the time, I applied Furtick’s message to difficult people in my life that I worked with or had to deal with in my any day interactions. It’s easy to vent about difficult people, it’s hard to respond with grace. The goal in my own life, and the inspiration to this blog’s name, is to live a life called to grace. And I ask myself, just as you are probably asking, what does this mean?
I believe the truth is wrapped up in the words spoken by Steven Furtick . We can each overlook offenses when we look at what lies deep behind the insult and see the hurt and the insecurity of the person creating the offense. Hurting people hurt people – and when I realized this about other people, it became much easier to get through each day. As we put this into practice, it becomes easier to deal with difficult people. When we can put ourselves in their life, and recognize behaviors are the result of themselves not us, it’s much easier to interact with them. We realize the grumpy people in our lives are grumpy because of their own lives, not because of us.
Dealing with insults is easy when they involve the mundane details of our lives. Perhaps, like me, you are dealing with something bigger. Darker. More tragic. Can we respond to these harder circumstances with the same grace? Yes it can because the same truth still applies. Truth doesn’t change even when the circumstances do.
Likewise, as we examine the insults directed from others towards us, we must also examine our own life and see if there are any insults that we inflict. There comes a point when we realize that if we do not respond in grace, we become the person who causes hurt in the lives of others. We become the inflictor of insults.
When we examine the life of Joseph, we see how he was deeply hurt by those closest to him. Joseph –the one with the coat of many colors, not the husband of Mary, mother of Jesus. He was insulted by those closest to him. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He spent years trying to overcome his circumstances. He continued to do the right thing, even when it was not to his benefit.
Like Joseph, I was deeply insulted by someone close to me. I tried to remember the message of Steven Furtick.
Dealing with self
Before responding with grace to others, we have to first respond with grace in our own life, in our own heart. In Max Lucado’s book, he says that restoration matters to God.
With the story of Joseph, it eventually appeared that he had finally overcome his lot in life. He rose above the problems into a position of power. He put the past in the past. But a past that has been undealt with only brings out problems later.
Joseph never had a Steven Furtick or Max Lucado preach messages to his soul. Perhaps if he had, he would have responded much differently when confronted by his brothers, years after their insult.
He did not respond with the love and compassion he once had for his brothers, years before being sold into slavery. Instead, he remembered the insult, he remembered his hurts, he remembered how they treated him and he responded in kind. He had them bound and imprisoned.
Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there. God continued to work on Joseph – and Joseph was a willing student, able to receive instruction. While this was painful, God used this time to bring up the impurities of the past. God allowed this time to heal the past. In Joseph’s case, the impurities of the past weren’t sins he committed, but sins committed against him. When Joseph allowed God to work on his heart, and because of his willingness to endure the pain, he was able to come out on the other side. In his case, God restored his heart, and his relationships with his family.
Sometimes restoration cannot always happen between people, but that doesn’t mean that He cannot restore the heart of individuals.
I never applied Furtick’s message to my own heart and hurts. I was sold out by someone I loved deeply. As a result, I have to ask myself the hard question: As a result of my hurts, what insults have I knowingly or unknowingly committed?
Max Lucado has long been one of my favorite authors. He penned, “The healing of the heart deals with the healing of the past.” If we do not want our hurts to control our actions, then we must be willing to allow God to work through the pain and heal our past.
We must all confront our past boldly and ask how our hurts influencing current choices.
Since it is almost Valentine's Day, I ask, are you willing to trust God with your heart? Are you willing to let go control and allow him to work on the hearts of others? Can you respond to others with the same love that God responds to you.